Trouble with Internet

Want to connect to internet but having problem just now.
My DSL light is stable. Its just that I cant connect to the net.
After spending almost an hour with the support from TM doing this and that.
Finally found out the problem....

My DNS server. Should put it to streamyx's DNS.
The DNS are:
202.188.0.133
202.188.1.5

Before that I have to flush DNS.
The command is ipconfig /flushdns

Actually I have been using OpenDNS for quite some time without much problem.
Maybe its because of the undersea cable near Egypt. I don't know.
Later maybe I'll change again.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart

The video to "Last Christmas" saw George and partner Andrew Ridgeley accompanying girlfriends to see friends at their home in an unspecified ski resort, although the cable-car that can be seen in two shots is from Saas-Fee, Switzerland. It became clear early on, however, that Andrew's girlfriend had previously been in a relationship with George, and it was to her character the song was aimed.


This is the version by Hilary Duff
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXqqrl-XE7g

This is the original by WHAM.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZhoF9Isf0o

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby do you recognise me?
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

(Merry Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

(CHORUS)

(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice
My God I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in her heart
A man undercover but you tore me apart
Oooh Oooh
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
(CHORUS)

A face on a lover with a fire in her heart
(Gave you my heart)
A girl undercover but you tore me apart
Maybe next year
I'll give it to someone,
I'll give it to someone special (special)
someone
someone

===============
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
who'll give me something in return
I'll give it to someone
hold my heart and watch it burn
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special
I've got you here to stay
I can love you for a day
I thought you were someone special
gave you my heart
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone
last christmas I gave you my heart
you gave it away
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone

Night out....

Went for a yamcha session last night. With a few acquaintances.
A few professionals. Some of them pharmacist, doctors, police officers, and politicians. No lawyers this time. So as usual the topics will usually turn to the issues of corruption, politics and gangsterism. We argued on what should the opposition do. What they are doing wrong and stuff like that.

We questioned him(the politician) about on why Anwar still doesn't want to take over the government if he already has the numbers? Where is the shadow cabinet? The reason is quite long and I'm not going to put it here. Still the same issue. You can find the explanation in Malaysia Today.

New mouse again

My old mouse, MobileGear is still quite new, meaning I haven't use it in more than a year when the axel of the scroll wheel snapped. I bought it this CNY with my sister.
Sigh... Want to see if i can glue the broken plastic back together. If not then I have to use the new mouse.


Today bought another mouse for my laptop. This time I bought Logitech V120 optical laser mice. Cost RM55.00 with 3 years limited warranty. Don't know what does that mean. Maybe some of you can give some idea.

Anyway here is the feature stated on the website: Convenience

Cord Management: Cord winds neatly into base, USB plug snaps securely into place protecting laser lens.

But I think it is quite troublesome if I just need a short cable from mouse to laptop. Maybe a spring operated cable is much better.

Shoes for Bush

These two days the news is full of news about Bush being attacked by a reporter.
The second day,(yesterday)there is a flash version of the game.


Then today I found a funny image. But it is quite big. Over 1Mb in size. If it is copyrighted please tell..
The title is "Bush Captured!"

If you do watch pokemon, you will understand... Haha..

Car Service

Money draining out of my pocket this week. Today spent more than RM700 to service my car.


Alignment should be RM 30.oo but since we change 4 pieces of wheels, they provide the alignment service free of charge. Using computerized Miller software to align the wheels. POKAI

Particulars	Price per unit	Total
Change contact:	RM 80.00	RM 80.00
Change tyres	RM 130 x 4	RM 520.00
Rear absorbers	RM 70.00 x2	RM 135.00
Absorber Dampers	RM 10.00 x2	RM 20.00
Labour charges + Gov taxes	RM 30.00 + RM 1.50	RM 31.50
Grand total		RM 706.50

How to save the world from Economic Depression.

The problem with all these ideas is the money is only directed at those who created or benefited from the problems. Why not attack the situation in a manner that will benefit most everyone, an approach that has been successful before and, when compared to the current course, has little downside?

I came across this article in the Forbes. It is written by Frank Beck. It tells us how to solve the world from Economic Depression. The solution?

World currencies should be devalued overnight.

It can be done on a country-by-country basis, but a coordinated devaluation would work best. A devaluation of 30% would raise the dollar value of all assets by 43%. A $200,000 home with a $230,000 mortgage would become a $286,000 home with the same mortgage. Presto! The homeowner who was $30,000 upside-down now has $56,000 equity and a good reason to make his payments. Both the homeowner and the bank are immediately better-off.

It would even benefit those who purchased their homes responsibly, as the value of their homes would rise by the same 43%. The current course of throwing trillions of dollars at the culprits is without any benefit to those who acted responsibly.

Admittedly, this is not a solution without the price of inflation, but the inflation would be short-lived. The current course will ultimately cause massive inflation that cannot be accurately estimated, and it may not even solve the problem.

Currency devaluation proved effective in ending the Great Depression. In 1930, Australia was the first to leave the gold standard, immediately devaluing the aussie by more than 40%, and the economy quickly recovered. New Zealand and Japan followed suit in 1931, each with the same result. By 1933, at least nine major economies had enacted a devaluation of their currency by removing it from the gold standard, all of whom emerged from depression.

In 1933, through a series of gold-related acts, culminating in the Gold Reserve Act of 1934, America realized a dollar devaluation of 41% when the price of gold was adjusted from $20.67 per ounce of gold to $35 per ounce. America, like the others before, had its economy bottom and recover as a result. Of the larger economies, only the French and Italians continued to adhere to the gold standard, and their economies remained depressed until finally, in 1936, they allowed their currencies to devalue, and their economies then recovered.

I see no reason to believe we would have any different result today. Only debt would remain the same. All other assets would immediately be worth more (in nominal terms), whether it be a home, a stock, an ounce of gold or a used car. Bank balance sheets would immediately improve, as many loans would be moved from non-performing to performing status. Banks would be paid with devalued dollars, but they made millions creating the mess. The current use of government stimulus through the creation of dollars will certainly lead to a similar or worse devaluation, so this is likely a net gain for the banks too.

Businesses would instantly become more profitable, and workers' pay would increase, allowing each to pay their debts more easily, even while sending more tax dollars to Washington, without raising tax rates. As assets are sold, the capital gains would send even more taxes to Washington. States and locales would receive more revenue via sales and property tax, improving the fiscal condition of school districts and local governments. The national debt would effectively be reduced by the same 25%, giving future generations a chance. Combine the move with a congressional pledge to only raise the budget by half the devaluation, and we could be on track for a balanced budget and paying down the debt.

As the old Saturday Night Live skit said, "Think of inflation as your friend. Wouldn't you like to wear $1,000 suits and smoke $100 cigars?" I know I would.

Frank Beck is Chief Investment Manager of Capital Financial Group and ProPlayer Investing in Austin, Texas, an affiliate of Partnervest Securities of Santa Barbara, Calif. Mr. Beck may be reached at Frank@FrankBeck.com.

Natures Grossest Creatures

Just came onto something interesting while surfing just now.
Some of nature's Grosset Creatures..

For example the Blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus)

http://www.popsci.com/environment/article/2008-12/natures-grossest-creatures

Beware!!! If you can't stand it, don't click on the link above!!
It is really gross!!

Chameleon

Saw a chameleon on my way back from school today. Almost crushed it to death. I was thinking of catching it but I drove too fast. Couldn't stop in time.

Reminded me a few of my encounters with it in the wild. The first time is while waiting at a bus stop in KL (Taman Tun if I'm not mistaken).

Then once during my training years in MPR. I caught one on my way to class. Put it in a bucket. It really changes colour, from green to brown but not much. And when I brought back to the hostel, my friend was so afraid of it. He said that if we are bitten by it, we would die before we could walk 7 steps. I guess that is the Chinese belief. Never knew it before.



The other time was when we are going for jungle trekking during the Toastmaster's Youth Leadership Camp this year. Caught it but don't know what to do with it so just take a photo of it and let it go.

Refund (2)

Remember my last post about my canceled trip? Well I was thinking of how to get my refund back.
I've mentioned how Airasia had refunded my flight ticket. Actually they did not refund the flight ticket, they just refund me back for all the airport taxes, managment fees, the nasi lemak I ordered and the baggage handling fee. Which is quite ok condsidering that if my flight ticket is the RM0 fare, I would get all my money back. But alas, I booked a last minute flight to Bali so I guess it is ok.

Actually it was not a refund. They just gave me a credit so that I can use it to buy a ticket within this 3 months. The due date is 11 Feb 2009. Must remember to use it by then!! Hahaha...

About the trip back from Bali, it is a very nice surprise for me. Just now when I was going to settle my credit card bill, I found out that I couldn't pay the statement's balance. The error message was "Amount Exceeded Outstanding Balance"

After checking my account details, I found out that Lionair had credited IDR 599 000 into my account. The flight costs IDR 799 000.

11-Nov-2008 WWW.LIONAIR.CO.ID JAKARTA PUSATID IDR799,000.00 = RM252.23
26-Nov-2008 WWW.LIONAIR.CO.ID JAKARTA PUSATID IDR599,000.00 = RM176.06(Credit! :)

I was already worried on how to call the office to get the refund. Cause there is no Lionair office in Sarawak. In their website, they gave you a few numbers to call, all Indonesion numbers, without the country code. So I ask around and seems like nobody knows. Then during my trip to Melaka, I asked the hotel which I stayed in and they told me the code.
It is +62 and the numbers are:
+6202163798000 or +6208041778899.
When I called the numbers, they asked me to call their office in KL (03-27139911).
I called the number and guess what? The number is not in service!

Don't know what to do anymore and just now I saw that there is a credit in my account! Good job Lionair!

Oh yes.. Forgot to mention that I went to their website http://www.lionair.co.id to cancel my flight.

And thanks sis! For lending me your phone to call. My phone can't call international number. =)

Unplanned Trip

Remember my last post about my canceled trip? I guess it was a blessing in disguise. It was because of it I was able to see my sisters' lives in JB. I got a taste of how is their life there. A lot of insight also. Went to a few places in Skudai. And a few places in Melaka. Will blog about it some other day. With pictures...

MS Access limitation

Microsoft Access by design was not designed to be used for such large size storage of data or to keep a large number of records. By default, there is a 2GB maximum file size on a mdb file, and a 32768 maximum number of objects that can be stored in it. If you are thinking of having 100,000 records in a ms access database, I would recommend against it.

Here are some more interesting statistics for your information:

Attribute - Maximum
-----------------------------------------
Number of characters in a table name: 64
Number of characters in a field name: 64
Number of fields in a table: 255
Number of open tables: 2048 - Actual max is less, since access opens some by default
Table size: 1 gigabyte
Number of characters in a Text field: 255
Number of characters in a Memo field: 65,535 when entering data through user interface; 1 gigabyte when entering data programmatically.
Size of an OLE Object field: 1 gigabyte
Number of indexes in a table: 32
Number of fields in an index: 10
Number of characters in a validation message: 255
Number of characters in a validation rule: 2048
Number of characters in a table or field description: 255
Number of characters in a record (excluding Memo and OLE Object fields): 2000
Number of characters in a field property setting: 255

Refund!

The disrtuption of my plan causes me to seek for refund for my flight from Johor to Bali(Denpasar) and Bali to Singapore on the 17 Nov(Take off :0030 ETA 0300 ). Yes!! Midnight and arrive early in the morning. Never been to Changi Airport, so I decided to see what there is to see early in the morning there. I've planned to take the earliest MRT from Changi to Kranji, which is 6.00 am. Meaning I have 2 hour plus at the airport.

Everthing gone in smoke... Now I need to plan how to get my refund from the airlines. The refund from Airasia was surprisingly fast.

http://www.lionair.co.id/travelinfo_reservations.htm

Conversation with God

God: Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called you? No.. Who is this?

God: This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

God: What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results.Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

God: Well I wanted to resolve your fight for time, by giving you some.In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you
are comfortable with.
Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

God: Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.
Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit.That's why you are not happy.

Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty.
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?
God: Diamonds cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't we be free from problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to)Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from problems.

Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..
God: If you look outside you will not know where you are heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God: Success is a measure as decided by others.Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing your road ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

God: Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessings, not what you are missing.

Me: What surprises you about people?
God: When they suffer they ask, 'why me?' When they prosper, they never ask 'Why me'. Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I can't get the answer.
God: Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be.Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not merely a process of discovery but a process of co-creation. You are my co-creator.

Me: How can I get the best out of life?
God: Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence.Prepare for the future without fear.

Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.
God: There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO..

Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.
God: Well.. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve.Trust me.. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. 'Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!

Blacklisted, Barred from leaving the country!!!

I was prevented from going out of the country on the 14th. By the immigration Department. The first question they asked me:

Immigration: Do you have any letter?

Me: huh???? What do you mean?
Immigration: Do you have income tax?
Me: No. (Thinking to myself, I don't even qualify to be taxed)
Immigration: Wait ar.. Let me ask somebody first.
Then he went and ask somebody. I guess must be his superior.

Immigration: Do you have any outstanding loan? MARA?
Me: No, but ptpn?
Immigration: That must be it... You go back and settle you loan first. Right now I''ll go and help you unload first. Then we went to the check in counter to get my luggage back.

WTF!! I never got any letters from PTPTN and now I'm blacklisted??
I know I should have settle my loan but they never sent me any letter to tell me how to settle my loans. Anyway, I've been to their website to check and my name is not listed. Now after I went back to check, my name appeared again. *&^^%


Then I emailed them at penyata@ptptn.gov.my requesting for details. Then there was this reply from siti_aishah@ptptn.gov.my which is surprisingly quite fast and polite asking me to go to www.ptptn.gov.my and click on eFES to check my details.

Quite efficient.

One night in Skudai.

Yesterday reach Senai Airport... The flight was ok except for some minor turbulence. But one thing I don't like is the pain in the air when the plane was descending.

Then my sister picked me up and went to their apartment in Desa Skudai. Traffic was terrible compared to Sibu. :) But not as bad as in KL. We have dinner at around 8 plus. Not bad la the food.

Today my flight to Bali is 1330. Wanna go for breakfast now.

Windows Mobile

Just updated my blog template last night. Now everything is gone. Especially the links to many interesting blogs and sites. I guess I have to do it again.

Anyway since I'll be going to Bali this week, I need to update my PDA. I installed WorldMate Live. After installing it, I found that I have this popup each time i restart my PDA. The file 'WMScheduler' cannot be opened. blablabla....

I looked the installed directory, Storage Card/Program files/WorldMate and the file is there. After much searching, the solution is pretty simple. But I dont like it, cause I have to install it into the main device itself and I don't have much memory to support it.

While searching for the solution, I also looked at a few softwares that could edit the registry in Windows Mobile. Here are the two programs that I found. This is taken from:http://www.inspectmygadget.com/2007/07/17/how-to-hack-your-windows-mobile-registry/

Mobile Registry Editor: runs on your desktop and connects to your device using ActiveSync. Once you have this installed, connect your device via ActiveSync and click on one of the folder to the left. If the right side refreshes, you have a connection.

Being a desktop application, it is easy to navigate and make changes using your keyboard and mouse. As I don’t make many registry changes away from my desktop computer, I would generally use this.

PHM Registry Editor: runs on your device so you have free reign over where and when you make changes to the registry.

It has a nice interface and is quite easy to use on our little Windows Mobile screens. PHM Registry Editor works a little faster for me than Mobile Registry Editor did.

Back up and restore the registry in Windows

This is taken from MS support.

Manual steps to back up the registry in Windows Vista or in Windows XP

Windows Vista
1. Click StartStart button, type systempropertiesprotection in the Start Search box, and then press ENTER.
User Access Control permission If you are prompted for an administrator password or for a confirmation, type the password, or click Allow.
2. Wait for Windows to search for available disks and most recent restore points. In the System Properties dialog box, on the System Protection tab, click Create,
3. Type a name for the restore point and then click Create.
4. After the restore point has been created successfully, click OK two times.
Note If System Restore is turned off, click to select the local disk, click Apply and then click Create.

Windows XP
1. Click Start, click Run, type %SystemRoot%\system32\restore\rstrui.exe, and then click OK.
2. On the Welcome to System Restore page, click Create a restore point, and then click Next .
3. On the Create a Restore Point page, type a name for the restore point and then click Create
4. After the restore point has been created, click Close.
Note If System Restore is turned off, you receive a message that asks whether you want to turn on System Restore now. Click Yes. Then, in the System Properties dialog box, click to clear the Turn off System Restore check box, click OK, and then repeat this step.

Restore the registry
Manual steps to restore the registry in Windows Vista or Windows XP
Use System Restore to undo registry changes in Windows Vista or in Windows XP
Windows Vista
1. Click StartStart button, type systempropertiesprotection in the Start Search box, and then press ENTER.
User Access Control permission If you are prompted for an administrator password or for a confirmation, type the password, or click Allow.
2. In the System Properties dialog box, on the System Protection tab, click System Restore,
3. In the System Restore dialog box select Choose a different restore point, and then click Next
4. Select the restore point that you want to use, and then click Next.
5. Confirm your restore point, and then click Finish System restore restores the selected Windows Vista configuration and then restarts the computer.
6. Log on to the computer. When the System Restore confirmation page appears, click OK..

Windows XP
1. Click Start, click Run, type %SystemRoot%\System32\Restore\Rstrui.exe, and then click OK.
2. On the Welcome to System Restore page, click Restore my computer to an earlier time (if it is not already selected), and then click Next .
3. On the Select a Restore Point page, click the system checkpoint. In the On this list select the restore point area, click an entry that is named "Guided Help (Registry Backup)," and then click Next. If a System Restore message appears that lists configuration changes that System Restore will make, click OK.
4. On the Confirm Restore Point Selection page, click Next. System Restore restores the previous Windows XP configuration and then restarts the computer.
5. Log on to the computer. When the System Restore confirmation page appears, click OK..

Public Forum

Last Saturday I went to attend a public forum by Mr Tan Kee Hian.

He holds an MBA with High Distinction from the Harvard Business School (Baker Scholar). He also holds a BSc (First Class Honours) in Mechanical Engineering from the Imperial College of Science, Technology and Medicine in London (John Samuel Prize; Imperial College Award; Shell Scholar). He did his "A" Levels and was an ASEAN Scholar at the National Junior College in Singapore.
He lives in London, but will spend eight months of the year in Asia.

When Mr Kong called me to go for the forum, I was a bit apprehensive. He told me the speaker would be someone with a MBA from Havard. So what I thought to myself. Even Khairy is a Havard Oxford graduate and what he said did not reflect his education at all.

Anway I told Mr Kong that I would give it a try. After my badminton game of course. And potluck dinner at Miss Yongs. :)

I reached MPI at 7.50 p.m. Accidentally went to the church because I was passing through it. And I thought the forum was in the church. After a few steps, I suddenly remembered that the forum was held in MPI, not at the church.

It was after listening to it that I realized that the speaker was no ordinary person. He was a Shell scholar and was a consultant with the Economic Planning Unit (EPU) for Malaysia.Btw he is a former classmate of Daniel Ngieng, those of you in Sibu would know him.

Btw here is a link to show how much he charges for one session.

The title of the forum was Outlook for Sibu. Or something like that.
Will blog about it later.

Deleting Temp Files

Copy down the command lines below and save it as a batch file.
It should clean your pc of temporary files. This includes caches and cookies.
It is especially useful if you are facing low virtual memory.
Not much but it does help a little.


@echo off
echo cleaning in progress
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*.tmp
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*._mp
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*.log
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*.gid
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*.chk
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\*.old
del /f /s /q %systemdrive%\recycled\*.*
del /f /s /q %windir%\*.bak
del /f /s /q %windir%\prefetch\*.*
rd /s /q %windir%\temp & md %windir%\temp
del /f /q %userprofile%\cookies\*.*
del /f /q %userprofile%\recent\*.*
del /f /s /q "%userprofile%\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files\*.*"
del /f /s /q "%userprofile%\Local Settings\Temp\*.*"
del /f /s /q "%userprofile%\recent\*.*"
echo it is done!
echo. & pause

Converting DVD to VCD

My friend asked me to help her convert her karaoke DVD to VCD. Since I'm not an expert on videos/audio, I ask my sister whom I consider expert in this cause she is doing the converting all the time. Just for backup.

I also asked my friend and he recommended me to use WinDVD(buyware) which I found huge, more than 100MB.
My sister recommended DVD decrypter and AutoGordian. (Freeware)
Another friend recommended AnyDVD by Slysoft(shareware).

After much searching I found this to be quite good.

First I need to rip the dvd to .vob. I used AnyDVD for this. Created more than 3GB of files in my hd.

Then I have to convert the files to avi using AutoGK.

Finally to convert to VCD, I used WinAVI(Shareware). The program puts a HUGE text in the middle of the VCD asking me to register it and remove the text from the video files created.

I'm a Celebrity!

OMG! I'm a celebrity. It happens when I just happen to have nothing to do, so I just submitted my photos I have to the website of the Vogue magazine. Using some old photos that I have taken during my Installation night. Fat chance I thought to myself but what the heck. Just try la.


And one thing that is puzzling me is why Victoria Beckham has my photo. I wonder where she gets it from. I don't care anymore. I'm FAMOUS!!! Its great!!
Hahaha....



*Note*
Actually it is not my photoshop skill. I just use the site from Photofunia.

Footprints in the Sand

www.footprints-inthe-sand.com
This is one of the earliest poem that I've read about the Lord. I saw it in a bookmark sold in a church more than 10 years ago. I thought it is the most beautiful poem I have ever read.

Now that i found out the author, I'm going to put the link here.

Footprints in the Sand


One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

Starcraft Multiplayer VPN Setup

Here I am assuming that
i) Starcraft is installed in your computer.
ii)IPX is installed.

First, install a VPN software first. Here I am using Hamachi. It seems that the latest version does not work with starcraft. I have to use Hamachi version -1.0.1.5-.

Note: Enable all the services. Disable the firewall. Don't update!

After that just play Starcraft as you normally do. If you encounter the problem of cannot join network, try this:




Goto Network connections and properties of the lan
card that your using to N/W. Goto IPX/SPX properties
and assign locator numbers. eg 000001 on computer
one, 000002 on the second.............. This resolves
the issue of cannot join network.

Don't Neglect Sabah

Just read an article. I'm posting it here because I'm wondering how many of us had this kind of experience as a teacher?
This is written by a doctor but I think teachers and doctors are the two professions that understands this. When they are posted to the interiors that is. If not they would think that the world owes them a place. It is when they are posted to somewhere that they never been, will they eyes be opened.


Another Doctor | Sep 8, 08 5:11pm
I refer to the Malaysiakini article Kota Marudu needs more than wireless Internet.

I read Dr Hams letter and cannot help but agree with many of his
observations. I worked in Sabah for over seven years as a house officer and medical officer. After my housemanship, I was sent to Ranau to serve in the district hospital. What Dr Hams described in Kota Marudu is not something isolated to that district alone in Sabah. It is an often repeated story in the whole of Sabah.

My first introduction to the poverty in Sabah came during my first months there, when a sweet 70- year-old lady from Kota Marudu was sent to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital with deep jaundice. She lived alone in a small village off Kota Marudu and noticed the jaundice about a month before.


She had no money for the taxi fare and so waited a month to sell off her chickens to have enough money to pay RM50 for the transport to Kota Marudu Hospital. She had to walk two miles to get to the road to get to the taxi.

Having been born, bred and educated in Peninsular Malaysia, I was shocked. When she arrived, she was septic and had a gallstone lodged in her common bile duct. The stone was duly removed but she was found to have a heart problem that required a pacemaker. We arranged for her to get a permanent pacemaker but she refused.


When I pressed her for her reason, she told me that she couldn't afford to buy batteries for the pacemaker, having sold off her chickens. Once I explained to her that the batteries would last for years and we would provide them, she agreed to the pacemaker.


Ranau town itself has roads and is on the main highway between Sandakan and Kota Kinabalu. It developed primarily as a result of the Mamut Copper Mines in the district. However, highway in this context means a two lane road with frequent landslides and potholes, with a two-hour drive to Kota Kinabalu.


Outside Ranau, transportation becomes a problem as tarred roads disappear to become gravel or crudely marked logging trails. Anyone who has worked in Sabah would have the same stories to tell, of extreme poverty and poor transportation.

During my 2 years in Ranau, I've heard and seen it all, patients with cerebral malaria, a condition unheard of in Peninsular Malaysia, coming in after 48 hours to the hospital from places like Kaingaran and Karagasan, with relatives having to push the 'pirate taxi' through the mud, spending RM50 on fare during the monsoon season, the equivalent of 2 months income, this too when petrol was only around RM1.20 a litre in Ranau.

Patients having to delay treatment for life threatening conditions because a bridge washed away along the trail (I won't even call it a road) to Tambunan. Emergency surgery such as caesarian sections, appendectomies and even ectopic pregnancies had to be performed in our little district hospitals by Medical Officers with little more than 4 months housemanship experience.


Medical emergencies such as myocardial infarctions, which in Peninsular Malaysia would be managed in a Coronary Care Unit setting, had to be managed in the district hospital level. I'm grateful however, that my staff in that hospital were the best I've ever had the pleasure of working with and were dedicated enough to want to make a difference in their patients' lives.

But poor transportation does not only affect the access to healthcare. Having no roads to be able to transport their agricultural produce for sale means that these people are stuck in a never ending cycle of poverty.

At most, some of them get RM20 to RM50 by selling their produce to middlemen to be sold at the monthly tamu or market at prices that are perhaps only 10 percent of the value of the goods. These innocent people are also preyed upon by traveling cloth merchants, mostly foreigners, who offer them 'easy payment schemes' to buy cloth for clothes, and when they cannot pay for the cloth and the interest accumulates, they end up having to marry their daughters to these men, who often have wives back home in Pakistan.

One of the cases I could never forget was of the family who came to Ranau Hospital just as I was leaving, a family who had failed crops, were hungry and unable to get food. The father collected some toad eggs and fed them to the whole family in a desperate attempt to stave off hunger. When they arrived at our little emergency room, one of the children were dead and two passed away within 10 minutes of arrival in our casualty unit due to poisoning.

Education is a problem in parts of Sabah outside major towns like Kota Kinabalu at the moment. Many children would be lucky to be able to get to a school or even afford to get to one. Most of my patients outside Ranau were lucky to even have a primary school education and a vast number of women marry in their teens.

I've had 14 year olds delivering babies in Ranau, most of them have never ever stepped foot in a school. The education level is so poor that many women feed their children condensed milk thinking that it's better than breast milk.

But at the heart of it all, these mothers want the best for their children but are not empowered with the knowledge to help them. Major towns in Sabah have electricity courtesy of the Sabah Electricity Board, but smaller villages have either diesel generators or rely on candles or lamps when night falls.

How can children study in these conditions? Like many doctors in the
districts, I had to learn Dusun to communicate better with these patients who could speak little else.

Forty five years after the formation of Malaysia, the promise of a better life for these poor Dusun, Murut and Rungus patients in the districts of Sabah is a pipe dream at best. How can our politicians claim to have brought development to the state and have neglected these poor people, many of whom still wear the cheap t-shirts and caps given free by political parties from many elections ago.

How can I claim to be proud of Putrajaya with it's beautiful bridges and lamp posts and the Petronas twin Towers when our fellow Malaysians in Sabah are so neglected?

The cycle of poverty and illiteracy one sees in the districts in Sabah brings despair to the heart. Eradication of poverty must tackle the real issues of education and transport and not just handouts to poor people.

By all means, declare Sept 16th a public holiday, but remember it in it's real context, where we made a promise to our brethren in Sabah and Sarawak to treat them as equals in Malaysia, and give them the development they've been long denied.

Bus trip from Miri to Sibu

Had a tiring day today.

Yesterday was the Division E Humourous Speech Contest. Alice won the contest so she will be representing our club to Bali this November. I'm proud of her. Congratulations!!!

Woke up early this morning. Can't sleep well. Took my shower then had breakfast with my uncle. He went and pick me up at Dynasty Hotel.

Then he sent me to the bus terminal at around 8.15 a.m. Wanna take the 8.30 bus but the 2 buses was full. So I had to take the 9.00 am bus to Sibu.

Freesia express. It was an old air-conditioned bus. The bus started off at 9.00 am, right on time. Before that, there were a few JPJ officers checking on the bus.


The trip took almost 8 hours. They used the old road. Maybe the driver want to pick up the people along the way. It often stopped along the way to pick up people. We stopped for toilet break at Batu Niah, then Bintulu and lastly Selangau.

On the way, the kid that was sitting on the same row as me vommitted a number of times. He is about 2 years old and he keeps on wanting to eat and drink.
Eat then vomit. Eat and vomit again. Greedy kid. :) The smell was nauseating.

Anyway we finally arrived in Sibu at 4.45 pm.

Basic Tools

Here are a few tools that is a must have in my pendrive:

1. Process Explorer2 - Kill unwanted process and virus.
2. Autoruns2 - Disable all the startups to make the pc boots up faster.
3. TCP view - To make sure there are no trojans opening any back door.
4. Netcat - Swiss army knife for the pc.


Must have software!
1. Antivirus - AVG/ NOD32
2. Adaware by Lavasoft
3. Registry Editor- Because most virus disable the registry editing.I used the one by Lavasoft.


Then there are a few tools that is nice to have.
1. Resource Editor - ResHacker/XNResourceEditor/ eXeSc641
2. Hex Editor - XVI32
3. Text Editor- Notepad2
4. Ip Scanner -
5. Photo Editor - from Windows 98. Much easier to use than those in win XP

Starcraft & Counter Strike

Haven't played Starcraft for a very long time. It has been my favourite games during my university days. With Counter Strike. I really miss those days when we would shout to our neighbours just so that we could have a game against each other.

It was then one would hear all the swear words coming out from both our houses. Those who didn't know us will think that we were having a fight. But if they stayed long enough to listen, they will know that we were in one of our games session.

Computer keeps Rebooting / Ntdetect failed.

A friend just ask me for help with her laptop. It keeps on rebooting. And I mean that it doesnt even shows the windows loading. It just keeps on repeating the bios screen.

And then when I look carefully, just before it reboots, I saw for less than a second, the word Ntdetect failed. I googled it and found a solution. Simple. Took me less than 5 minutes to solve it.

Run XP repair.
Type in:
COPY X:\i386\NTLDR C\:
COPY X:\i386\NTDETECT.COM C:\
where X is the drive letter for your CD drive.
Remove the CD and type exit.

Selamat Hari Raya

Just want to wish all my friends a Happy Eid Mubarak.

Went visiting today. Started at 10 to an open house beside a mosque near SK Deshon.
First house, Mohd Lee at Kampung Jeriah. Quite far away from Sibu town. It is just a small kampung house. Built by himself I think. There is no ceiling, just newly built zink roof. Somehow makes me think of a story in the Bible. About a story of an old lady who gave a few copper coins. Meaning those who have not much but are willing to give their all.

Luckily his house is in the kampung. With a lot of animals and plants. Chicken, ducks, fishes, bidin, jagung, noni, breadfruit, durian, ubi, etc.

Then we went to Kak Siti's house nearby. A new double-story terrace house. And then go to Siti Azzyati's place in Sungai Bidut. Got lost along the way. There is one road there with lots of lane with the name Hock Seng, Hock Chung, Hock this and Hock that until I went Hock Chuan!!! Chinese kampung.

After that we went to Cikgu Azman's house in Bandung. The last house is Hajah Maria, Lot 63 Kampung ...

Then went to my school teacher's house with Madam Kong and family.

Waiting at KIA Part 2

Just back from 7th Mile. Had "yong yin"... Can't exactly sure how to pronounce it. Its actually a type of drink = coffee + tea + milk. Very nice. Then Kuching kolo mee. Haven't had authentic Kuching Kolo Mee for a very long time already. Can't remember when I last went to Kuching. Maybe a few years back.. Kuching changed quite a lot.

Went with Pei Ye, Su Ting and Thian Lin. All beautiful ladies. Pity I don't have a camera. If not I'll post their pictures here. Haha...

Now back at the airport. Using the free Wifi from MarryBrown in the departure hall.
Then there is the dlink by dunno who.

Outside there are 2 services..

But have to go.
Battery weak.

Waiting at KIA

Now at Kuching International Airport. The wifi services here are much better. 11g instead of 11b in KLIA. One would expect that a world class airport would have world class connection, but somehow Kuching is much better. Or maybe at KLIA I'm just waiting for the domestic flight. Not sure if it is the same if I'm going for international flights. Just now my gate was 11B at KLIA. Now for my flight to Sibu, I'm waiting at Gate 4 for my 1555 flight which takes around 30 minutes from Kch to Sibu.

Now is 12.pm. I think wanna go out with my friend. Will update later.

Waiting at KLIA.

Now at the KLIA. Waiting for my flight to Kuching at 1005. Boarding time should be 0935, about a few minutes from now. This morning took the Start Shuttle from Ipoh to KLIA. Then have breakfast at McD. Then just shopping around the KLIA.

Now got a group of young cadets/police going the same flight.
Calling now...Update my blog later...

Better go.

Going to Ipoh

My flight is at 1155. Which is just nice for me cos I can have my usual laksa after the church service. The flight is from Sibu to KLIA, MH which takes about 1 hour 30 minutes. Then Mr Wong and I took a bus service from KLIA to Ipoh. The cost per person RM 42.00. If you buy both ways, then it would be RM 80.00. But we are not sure how/when we are going back. Anyway the trip from KLIA to Ipoh took about 3 hours plus with just one 10-minutes stop.

After that we took a taxi from the stop to the hotel. The cost per taxi = RM 20.00.
After we checked in and took our bath, we went for dinner/ buka puasa at 7.13 pm.
The food are quite nice. Lots of sweet things. :)

Then we and 6 Sabahan teachers took 3 cabs to Jusco. We spent 2 hours there just walking around. The cost from our hotel to Jusco = RM 10.00 per taxi.

HOWTO - reset a lost Ubuntu password

It is an interesting read. I took it from hackzine.com.
Posted by Jason Striegel | Sep 3, 2008 10:37 PM


I loaded one of my test Ubuntu virtual machines today (one that I hadn't used for a month) and, surprise, I had forgotten the password. This sort of thing happens from time to time, and if you're new to Linux, it can be a little disconcerting.

Losing your root password isn't the end of the world, though. You'll just need to reboot into single user mode to reset it. Here's how to do it on a typical Ubuntu machine with the GRUB bootloader:

Boot Linux into single-user mode

1. Reboot the machine.
2. Press the ESC key while GRUB is loading to enter the menu.
3. If there is a 'recovery mode' option, select it and press 'b' to boot into single user mode.
4. Otherwise, the default boot configuration should be selected. Press 'e' to edit it.
5. Highlight the line that begins with 'kernel'. Press 'e' again to edit this line.
6. At the end of the line, add an additional parameter: 'single'. Hit return to make the change and press 'b' to boot.

Change the admin password
The system should load into single user mode and you'll be left at the command line automatically logged in as root. Type 'passwd' to change the root password or 'passwd someuser' to change the password for your "someuser" admin account.

Reboot
Once your done, give the three finger salute, or enter 'reboot' to restart into your machine's normal configuration.

That's all there is to it. Now just make sure to write your password down on a post-it and shove it somewhere safe like under your keyboard. :)

Google Chrome

Heard that there is going to be a new kid in town. But the kid wont be any ordinary kid. The parents is the giant of the internet, Google.

The kid's name is Google Chrome, a new web browser that is going to be kick the butt of Firefox and especially Internet Explorer.

It is an Open Source software with the codes are written from scratch! Which really got me excited. Here are some of the features that caught my attention.




1. Multiprocesses!!
Normal browsers are single process. Even single-threaded. But now they are going to make each tab a separate process!! Which means that you can kill each tab individually without affecting the whole browser.

2. Open Source!! It is developed using Webkit, an open source application framework that provides a foundation upon which to build a web browser; and V8, an open source Javascript virtual machine.

3. Tabbing! Cant live without tab now. I know Firefox and IE has tabbing now, but the way they design it will be different in a sense that each tab has a separate url box and the tab will be on top of the windows. Btw did I mention that each tab is a separate process! Should have its own task manager too. Cool man!

4. Security!! The most important thing when almost everything is done online. Malware, spyware and the old viruses and trojans are now the norm. To avoid malware from installing themselves into your pc, they introduce the concept of sandboxing, i.e each tab/process has been stripped of their rights for different security level.

5. Gears! Actually this is for the web developers. I.e it is an API that can extend the browsers capabilities.

Cant wait to try it out! Just post your comment and tell me what you think of it!

UiTM Fiasco

The recent controversy surrounding the UiTM has certainly caught my eye. I was quite surprised to see that a lot of students are against opening up Uitm for all Malaysians. I never thought that it will happen because most of my friends are from the UiTM and they never show that kind of tendency. Maybe because they are from Sarawak. I'm not sure. Please don't get me wrong but this is what the general impression that I have. Sorry to all you readers out there but I don't mean all those from Peninsular are racists. Maybe just a few, but those are the obvious ones, and when they are loud, they seems like the majority.

And another thing, I'm just wondering where is the "University and University Colleges Act" or AUKU which we have been constantly warn about.

This is taken from the blog by Haris Ibrahim about the UiTM demostration by the students opposing the opening of intake to other Malaysians!


One particular UiTM student was asked to wear black coloured clothing by a senior when he refused to as the colour black on that day meant supporting the protest and he did not support it. The senior could only respond in ways such as asking him whether he was a jew or a homosexual. And this brilliant friend of mine then just answered, “No, I’m a muslim and remember when the Prophet Muhammad SAW ruled Medinah? He had all kinds of races that were hostile towards each other to live peacefully under the open sky. Why would you be afraid of opening this institution to others if you claim to take the prophet as your example?” And the senior who was lost for words just left and slammed the door on him. Although stories like these do not happen everyday in UiTM as many students who share similar views to my friend here are usually fearful of the consequences of speaking openly.


...


Though I believe there is still hope. The light comes soon after the darkest part of the night. In an incident in a Constitutional Law lecture, a student went up to class defending the recent student protest as on the principle of defending natives’ rights with, in her own words, “First come, first serve”. Ironic that a business principle has been adopted to an issue affecting all of Malaysia, I thought to myself. I then proceeded to ask her why then are there cases of stripping the rights of land from the Orang Asli, which are the real natives, to give way to capitalist ventures and these natives are then only compensated with how much their houses were worth, which probably costs less than my pair of shoes? Is it not a practice of double standards when you talk about “First come, first serve”? Are we really protecting the natives’ rights or Malays in particular? She then proceeded to open the Federal Constitution to find an answer but predictably, it was in vain. She ended her presentation right there with a dumbfounded look. But what happened soon after was even more interesting. Students from the class started to flock and ask me questions, wanting to know more about the issue. With interested faces all around, I could only smile.



A few blogs reinforced my belief that not all from UiTM is racist. People like Dr Azly Rahman , Haris Ibrahim, and a few others shows that not all Malays thinks the same way.

The only problem is knowing which is the majority.

你是我最深爱的人

Just wanna add a lyric to a song. The title is 你是我最深爱的人 Putting the link to youtube here.

爱上了一个人
能够为他牺牲
就算付出了生命,
我甘心为了你，

*
两个人在一起，
分享爱的命运
永远都不会忘记
我们生活点滴

你是我最深爱的女人
你有最美丽的嘴唇
你拥有最动人的眼神
你带给我幸福和快乐

我是你最深爱的男人
我的爱绝对是永恒
做什么都值得
爱上了一个人

Ai shang le yi ge ren,
Neng gou wei ta xi shen
Jiu suan fu chu le shen ming
Wo gan xin wei le ni

Lian ge ren zai yi qi
Fen xiang ai de ming yun
Yong yuan dou bu hui wang ji
Wo men shen huo dian di

Ni shi wo zhui shen ai de nu ren
Ni you zhui mei li de zhui quan
Ni yong you zhui dong ren de yan shen
Ni dai gei wo xin fu he kuai le

Wo shi ni zhui shen ai de nan ren
Wo de ai jue dui shi yong hen
Zuo shen me dou zhi de
Ai shang le yi ge ren

The translation

You Are The One I Love Most

Falling in love with you
Would sacrifice just for you
Even if I spare my life
Willingly, I’ll do for you

You & me together
Sharing destiny of love
Will never ever forget
The moments of our life

You are the woman I love most
You have the most beautiful lips
And with the most expressive eyes
Bringing me happiness and bliss

I am the man you love most deeply
I will love you for eternity
It’s worth doing anything
Falling in love with you!

Updating Blog Template

Been planning to upgrade the template for my blog. But don't seem to have the time for it. A lot of things need to be updated.
The new design has a tab for layout, as you can see from the picture here.



And then the one I am using now doesn't have a tab for that. Just a template for the html.





Links to add and I think the clock has to go. My profile picture will also have to go. But which one??


But I added a few widgets, the oil price and the gold price. Then added the Map of visitors. Maybe put the midi at the sidebar. Not just as an entry in my blog. Tell me what you think.

New Laptop!

Just received a brand new laptop today! Ordered online from Dell's website. Bought a Red Dell™ Inspiron™ 1420. Can even check the status of your shipment. But I have received the package already and the status on the webpage is still in shipment. Haha...

Email from a friend.

Today I just received an email from a good friend of mine. Quite a long email. But it really made my day. Thanks Wen.




Good morning pals..

today I am not feeling very well.. having flu since yesterday due to the cold weather these few days in Sibu. for those who have flu before.. you can understand how it feels having flu.. you will feel very tired.. no energy and feeling of sleeping all the time.. this is what I am feeling at the moment.. being so sleepy and keep fishing..

Well, just to wanna share with you all that last saturday I was attending a installation dinner. hahaa... is not my installation dinner.. I got nothing to be installed.. ;p but is the installation of Chun!! yeah! our friend now is the President of Swan City toastmasters club in sibu! well done Chun! I think he had put in a lot of efforts and contribution in the club for the past years to get what he is today. I am sure all of us here are very proud of you, fren!

I felt very proud that night for being invited by the president to attend the installation dinner.. I think our table got special treatment maybe becos we were the guests of the president.. we had been offered red wine but from my observation not all the tables had such treatment... am I right Chun? or maybe it's the courtesy from Dr Clement? Another thing I felt satisfy is the installation magazine cover design inspired by Chun and done by me was put on the tables. It looked good but Chun I think the printing company did resize the cover as u can see the backdrop gradient color was distorted..



One thing I have to mention here about the dinner is the speech by our dear president friend.. hahaaa.. as far as we know Chun.. do you think he will write a long and serious speech script then read it out on the stage? of course not! hahahaa... actually if you want me to describe his speech... I will use the words simple, funny, spontaneous but smart, have brain and impressive! I think those have pay attention on him when he's delivering the speech was impressed by him. Even the special guest of the night, vincent goh who is one of the YB in sibu also said that he was impressed by him. The YB said when first Chun calling him to invite him for the dinner.. he can feel he sounds very timid.. and when the YB met him.. he felt Chun look innocent and ignorant which Chun had admit it on his speech earlier. The YB said but after listening to his speech, now he knew although Chun has baby face.. but he's actually a lady killer!! hahahaa! This is interesting.. I was argued with Chun on this lady killer speech after the dinner... ;p

so, wish to know the full content on Chun's speech?? then you ppl have to ask him to tell you all by his own. I dun think he has a well-prepared script on his hand as his parent said he just prepared it at very last minute! hahaha!! typical Chun's style! Oh ya... one thing I need to mention about Chun' speech.. he said although he looks innocent or maybe ignorant and look like a kid.. but he asked the audience to believe him that he's not the kid anymore... he assured that under his leadership.. the club will achieve the magic 3 which mean will get the special award by the toastmasters international 3 years in a row! and this time he'll make the perfect scores to achieve the award. if not he'll resign from the club and he asked the press the quote what he said!! hahahaa!! what you all feel after listening to part of his speech content? Chun.. if I got any mistaken.. pls correct me ok?



I took few photo of him during his installation. I will attach 2 here.. I took using my lousy handphone.. so the quality might not so good..

Meetings and meetings...

Had a meeting this morning. About SBT. Then will have another meeting tonite. Toastmasters Educational meeting. Then tomorrow another meeting, committee meeting for our installation night. I'm getting tired of endless meetings.

Yesterday another meeting to discuss about the launching of the Sibu Education Department website. Not very user friendly but that is the best the team can do at the moment.
Seems like everything happens at the same time.

And on my way back from Kanowit, the Lukut-Penyulau Road was flooded. More than a foot deep near the Durin bridge, before SJK Yuk Chai.

Tomorrow have to go to Kanowit again to finalize everything. sigh...

Motivation Camp

Just came back from school from a motivation camp for the students. A lot of

activities. One interesting one is the "Burung hantu."

The student are blindfolded, then brought to walk around the school and the bushes

nearby. In the middle of the night. They have to walk through mud, cross the muddy

drains, crawl under the bushes and everything you can think of. Blindfolded.

What is Love?

Looking at the title would make people think that.... Boring.... Another definition of love. Well, I wont define it cos I really don't know. If it makes me how I feel right now, I'd prefer not to love at all.


It happened suddenly this morning. I was driving to work when I heard the song "You Sang To Me" by Marc Anthony. It brought tears to my eyes. I felt so weak. And useless. How come I cannot control my emotion? I really don't know. My mind is a mess now. I feel like I am falling into a bottomless pit of despair. With no end in sight. :(

Sometimes I question God, why are You doing this to me???
I can't take it anymore....

Outcast

God Help the Outcasts

---

Just a midi file

Felt different from the rest.. Somehow doesn't feel like I fit in. Dont feel like I fit in anywhere. Felt like an outcast...

I don't know if you can hear me
Or if you're even there
I don't know if you would listen
To a humble prayer
Yes I know I'm just an outcast
I shouldn't speak to you
Still I see your face and wonder
Were you once an outcast too?

Black Magic?

Something funny happens this afternoon. I went for an afternoon nap. Then when I woke up it was quiet dark... I was like "Oh s***, It is bright already and I'm late for school!! Then I check the time and it was 5. Then I thought it is still early, why it is so bright outside????? " After quite a number of seconds I realize that it was evening. And I just took my nap. Hahaha... I guess I slept heavily. Not napping...:)

Anyway someone dear to me told me that she felt that she was under black magic. I don't believe in that kinda stuff but I felt protective of her. Felt like shielding her from all that could have hurt her. This song by Phil Collins came into mind.

Come, stop your crying, it will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect you from, all around you
I will be here, don't you cry

For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us, can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry

'CAUSE you'll be in my heart
YES, you'll be in my heart
From this day on, now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand the way we feel?
They just don't trust, what they can't explain
I know we're different but, deep inside us
We're not that different at all


Don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know?
We need each other, to have, to hold
They'll see in time, I know
When destiny calls you, you must be strong
I may not be with you, but you've got to hold on
They'll see in time, I know, we'll show them together

Always, I'll be with you
I'll be there for you, always, always and always
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there, always.....